My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands by Chelsea Handler

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands



Download My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands




My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands Chelsea Handler
Language: English
Page: 213
Format: epub
ISBN: 1582346186, 9781582346182
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA

From Publishers Weekly

Opening with a cute story from when she was seven and photographed her parents having sex, stand-up comedian Handler goes on to discuss the virtues of the one-night stand, which amount to having sex early enough so you're not months into a relationship before you discover he's into "anal beads and duct tape." She discusses her quest for sex with a "black man," which doesn't work out because the date she finds on ChocolateSingles.com has a penis so large, she "would have had to be the size of the Lincoln Tunnel to accommodate that thing." After him, there's a "little midget," but she sobers up before sleeping with him. Next come a number of would-be partners with penises too small to consider. Finally, there's a guy Handler does sleep with, only an embarrassing incident involving a "giant skid mark" prevents her from seeing him again. By the end, Handler considers settling down with one man, which might actually net her more sex than these mostly unconsummated one-night stands. Anyone who laughs at the mere mention of vaginas and penises may find Handler's book almost as much fun as getting drunk and waking up in some stranger's bed.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"* 'Chelsea Handler is my new best friend - she writes like Judy Blume, if Judy Blume were into vodka, Ecstasy and sleeping with midgets and nineteen-year-olds. I laughed out loud and read parts to my husband, my best friend, and my Mom (which might have been a mistake). This book is no-holds-barred hilarious.' Jennifer Weiner * In a word: hilarious.In two:absolutely hilarious.These are some of the funniest stories I have ever read... Chelsea Handler has perfect pitch.' Laura Zigman"
--This text refers to an alternate

edition.

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